On Tough Love: The Octuplet Mama

The following is from Mama. I had to censor a couple of words but she still said it better than I could have....

Boo hoo. Nadya Suleman was an only child and didn’t like it. So she did what any self-indulgent only child would do. She went on to fill the “need” she had by having scads of her own kids, no matter how this affected anyone else.

Am I saying that “only children” are destined to be selfish or over-indulged? Of course not. It’s all in how you raise them. But something clearly went wrong somewhere in Ms. Suleman’s life.

The woman is well-spoken, but is clearly delusional. She believes she can actually raise all of these children on her own, without government assistance. First of all, even without the octuplets, she had six very young children and no real job. Even if she had a job, she would have to make an astronomical amount of money to have to pay any Federal Income taxes. In fact, if she holds any kind of job at all, with all of her dependents, she will receive money from the IRS every year as Earned Income Credit. So taxpayers that are actually paying into the system will be providing for her fourteen children’s education, subsidized health care, food stamps, and daycare. We are probably already paying for Ms. Suleman’s education. How else can an unemployed woman with a houseful of kids afford to go to college?

The idiot doctor who ignored this woman’s apparent mental instability and implanted her with six more embryos (knowing full well she already had six tots and no husband to help) was clearly irresponsible. But her parents–what the h*** were they thinking?

In this age of entitlement, there are too many parents out there that believe being a good parent means indulging every whim of their offspring. Perhaps Nadya’s parents felt bad that they didn’t provide a sibling for their little girl to play with. She had to get this sense of entitlement from somewhere. Nadya is certainly getting back at her parents for any sins they committed.

Not only is Ms. Suleman depending on the village to help raise her clan, but these parents of hers have given up their home, their money, their retirement years and their lives to Ms. Suleman’s population explosion. They’ve allowed their daughter and her children to take up every inch of their small home and have actually had to file for bankruptcy. We watched a Dateline report showing grandma and grandpa running themselves ragged feeding and dressing and driving the little ones to school. Any parent would help out their child and their beautiful grandhildren, right?

Maybe. After the first one, or two, or even three. Maybe. If unavoidable circumstances led to rough times. But when a grown woman keeps forking over thousands of dollars to have babies she can’t afford to feed or provide housing for, mom and dad need to make her STOP. By putting her out while there is still a chance she can provide for her kids. By not allowing her to become so dependent upon them (and the public) so that now there is no way in h*** she can ever provide for the physical or emotional needs of all these kids. About 10 kids ago, it would have been rough for poor Nadya to make it on her own. But at least it would have been possible.

I feel sorry for Nadya’s parents. They look so tired. And now they’re stuck with raising a houseful of children pretty much until they die. The only other option would be to walk away from their beautiful grandchildren and allow them to be scattered amongst other relatives or the pathetic foster care system. Despite her protests, there is no way Ms. Nadya can care for these kids without them.

I love having my adult kids live here with us. But Oldest Son has started paying us rent. We are not obligated to provide for him until we die. And if he does something really stupid that he knows we don’t approve of, he knows he’ll be out paying a lot more rent to some stranger. Which is why today he took out two bags worth of trash from his bedroom. And why I don’t think I’ll be spending my golden years raising babies.

Parenting Guideline # 452

Lawmaker Presses for Free Speech in Foul-mouthed Student's Blog Case.

OK.

1. This girl called her teacher a naughty word.
2. She did it on her blog, which she wrote on her own computer in her home.
3. The school found out and meted out punishment.
4. A senator proposes a bill prohibiting students from bad-mouthing teachers.

The mother says:

"...she wished her daughter "had used more sophisticated language," but said it was up to her, not the school board, to mete out the punishment. "It's for me to discipline her at home, not for the school."

My two cents:

1. The school has no jurisdiction in the home.
2. The mother's right, and shame on her if she doesn't do something about it.
3. The senator's bill should never go through.

Give me a break! You mean that every time a student curses out a teacher....? If this happened on school grounds, it would be one thing; on a school computer, alright. But really, at home? that's the parents' job. And there's certainly no bill needed! What a waste of time. Just type it up in the student handbook. That's what they always did when I was in school.

If a child even gets to this point, it's to the parents' shame.

I was playing with matches on the side of my house one day. My neighbor didn't call th epolice when he saw me. He didn't come out and give me some kind of speech. He walked over and knocked on our front door and told my parents what I was up to. I got a whoopin' and never played with matches again. Pretty simple really.

Alright here it is, and I know some of you are gonna protest. It's the Word of God.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 KJV

He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early.
Proverbs 13:24 AMP

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15 KJV

We made it!

I received the following from a wonderful woman in my life through an email. I have made some adjustments and posted it here.

To Those of You Born

1925 - 1983

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's & 80's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, white rice, white pasta, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times,we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet, no Facebook, no MySpace and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

No one had ADD or ADHD. We were disciplined to pay attention and learned self-discipline. Some just needed more of the 'discipline' than others.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, send a link to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

Your J. O. B.

The following post was taken from an Ol' Broad and edited for content:

To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn’t pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country.

However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see us as free and self-employed. You’ve imagine us in a big house; dining out with our children. I’m sure all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about our life.

However, what you don’t see is the back story.

We started this company 10 years ago. At that time, We lived in a run down apartment, someone's basement where, as my 8 month pregnant wife and I laid on our mattress on the floor, we could hear the tinkle of everyone in the toilet over our heads, and an unkempt friend's rental for 5 years. More than half of our living room was converted into an office so we could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you at a wage of WELL OVER the minimum.

Our diet consisted of Macaroni and cheese on Monday, white rice on Tuesday, white rice with beef bullion on Wednesday, white rice with chicken bullion on Thursday, Spaghetti on Friday and leftovers on the weekends because every dollar we made went right back into this company. If we had any meat to eat, it came from the food pantry in town. We drove broken down, third hand cars with defective transmissions & may-pop tires. Our children sacrificed time with their parents. We didn’t have money to go out. Often times, we stayed home on weekends, while our friends went out to the movies and dinners. While everyone else was secure in their HMO coverage, we depended solely upon the Mercy of God and favor of man.

We lived our business - hard work, discipline, and sacrifice. You can not POSSIBLY tell us how difficult it is to make ends meet. Do not even try.

Meanwhile, our friends and relatives got jobs. They worked 40+ hours a week and made a modest $100K plus a year and spent every dime they earned. They enjoyed good health coverage. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom’s for the latest hot fashion item, we were trolling through the clearance racks at Wal-Mart extracting any clothing item that would fit our children. Our own clothes we never bought, but depended on the kindness of wealthier clients to give us their hand-me-downs. Our friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. We, however, did not even own our own home until recently. We put a lot of time, money, and our life into a business with a vision so that eventually, some day, we too, would be able to afford these luxuries our friends supposedly enjoyed.

So, while you physically arrive at to work at 7am, mentally check in at about 11, and then leave at 2pm, we don’t. There is no “off” button for us. When you go home, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. We unfortunately do not have the freedom. We eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to our family like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden - the house, the cars, the trips … you never realize the back story and the sacrifices we’ve made. But we wouldn't have had it any other way. It was our dream; our vision for our family's future.

Now, the economy is falling apart and we, the couple that made all the right decisions and saved our money, have to bail-out all the people who didn’t. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that we earned and sacrificed a decade of our life for.

Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price we’ve paid is steep and not without wounds.

Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:

We are being taxed to the brink and the government thinks we don’t pay enough. We have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. We have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. Sometime between now and April 15th, I will clench my teeth as I find out if I can even break even with our personal taxes or will we have to pay even more.

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Us, the couple who has provided all of you good people with good paying jobs servicing homes and offices in 2 states and 9 counties with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you’d quit and you wouldn’t work here. I mean, why should you? That’s nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

Here is what many of you don’t understand … to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to us that we didn’t need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing over $100,000 into the Washington black-hole, we would spend it, hiring more employees, start new business outlets and ventures and generate substantial economic growth. Our employees would enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don’t defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the new power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you you will get.

So where are we going with all of this? It’s quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on us, or our company, our reaction will be swift and simple. We will sell off our business assets. We will fire you. We will fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child’s future. Frankly, it isn’t our problem any more.

Then, we will close this company down, sell most of out possessions and move to another country, do mission work and eventually retire. You see, we're done. We're done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. Our motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, the dream we worked so hard to achieve.

So, if you lose your job, it won’t be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find us teaching some foreign children the Word of God, being appreciated simply because of what we have to offer and not the tax base we can provide, and with no employees to worry about …

Signed,
your employers.

Happy Birthday!

Today is our little girl's 15th birthday. She is growing up to be a fine young woman of God. She gets straight A's. She is a member of the National Honor Society. She is a Senator for her Freshman class. She loves God and walks the walk. We love you, Cecilia!

Homeschooling Reason # 452

Kindergartners pledge

This woman should lose her job.

California needs Jesus.

"How do you teach a 5-year-old to sign a pledge card for lesbian, gay and transgender issues without explaining what transgender and bisexual is?" asked Sonja Eddings Brown, a spokeswoman for Protect Marriage California.

My question exactly.

The district said the pledge cards were intended for middle school and high school students.

I wonder what would have happened if one of those middle or high school students decided to NOT sign the card.

California is voting on overturning the gay marriage law on Tuesday. Pray for them.

Too Little, Too Late

Nigerian father takes son to court for idleness

LAGOS (Reuters) – A father took his 20-year old son to an Islamic court in northern Nigeria for idleness, asking that he be sent to prison for refusing to engage in productive activities, state news agency NAN said on Friday.

"He is not listening to words and he is bringing shame to my family. I am tired of his nefarious deeds. Please put this boy in prison so that I can be free," Sama'ila Tahir, a market trader in the northeastern town of Bauchi, was quoted as saying.

Tahir told the court that his son had refused to go to school and accused him of belonging to a criminal gang.

The court sentenced the son to six months in prison and 30 strokes of the cane -- which were immediately administered on the premises -- for being disobedient to his parents, NAN said.

I started to blog about this and then realized that I would really need to write a book in order to get to the fullest truth of the matter. Even then, I am not so sure that I would not get some of you up in arms over the whole matter.

So, I've posted the story. Please comment on it.

No, I'm not even posting a scripture here, because some people couldn't take that either.

Family Feeds Dogs, Starves Daughter, 14

SEATTLE — A father and stepmother were charged with withholding their 14-year-old daughter's food and water so drastically that she weighed only 48 pounds, authorities said.

Jon Pomeroy, 43, and his wife, Rebecca Long, 44, could face as much as four years in prison if convicted of criminal mistreatment, prosecutor's spokesman Dan Donohoe said. The couple were released on bail late Monday after the charges were brought.

The girl was removed from the family home near Carnation, about 40 miles east of Seattle, in August after a neighbor called child welfare authorities.

According to prosecutors, Long confirmed to a deputy that she considered the girl a behavior problem and restricted her water as discipline. The woman said she had been home-schooling the girl and her 12-year-old brother for four years.

The girl, who is 4 feet 7 inches tall, told authorities that she was given primarily toast to eat and only half a small cup of water per day. She said her stepmother even watched when she brushed her teeth to make sure she didn't drink extra water.

...

Even the family's two dogs were fed normally and had recently been taken to the vet, authorities said.

The part that upsets me the most is the poor girl. But the fact that they were homeschooled bothers me too. As if homeschooling didn't already have a stigma attached to it. We try and teach our children, believing that we are the best teachers for them, (Our Public School System has pretty poor statistics), and then this loon comes along and raises doubts again in the minds of all the PSS advocates; NEA etc. Ugh!

See last post for scripture. :-)

Bad Parenting & Poor Judgment

SOLON TOWNSHIP, Mich. — A toilet paper prank has led to the shooting of a 14-year-old by a southwestern Michigan man who believed strangers were trying to break into his home.

The Grand Rapids Press and WZZM-TV report the victim and four other teens were pulling the prank about 1 a.m. Sunday at a home in Solon Township, about 20 miles northeast of Grand Rapids.

Kent County sheriff's Lt. Jerry Miedema said the teens were intent on draping the house in toilet paper, while the homeowner's "intent was to come out shooting."

Police say three shots were fired from a 12-gauge shotgun, striking the 14-year-old in the chest, stomach and leg. He is recovering at a local hospital.

The homeowner was not arrested, but a prosecutor is looking into possible charges.

I really don't think charges are in order. The youth used poor judgment in TP-ing a house. The man used poor judgment in shooting first and asking question later. Where are these kids parents? My kids would never have done this.

1. We have taught them to make better choices than this.
   
2. They have too much of the fear of God and even more of the fear of Dad (or Mom) for that matter. Sorry, Dear.
3. What was a 14 year old doing out of their bed at 1 am? Nothing good happens at 1 am unless you are at a church all night youth event!
   

Yep, there's one for this too.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

"No pockets, No store!"

I went to the grocery store the other day. I only needed to pick up a couple things, so I knew I wouldn't be long. I had on some basketball shorts - no I don't play basketball - but they are comfortable and I usually only wear them around the house or gardening. So, since I knew I would only take a couple minutes, I decided not to change. These shorts have no pockets, I could just carry my wallet, phone and keys. I've done it before.

I am sure you think you can see it coming.

I got a cart going in, for two reasons; I needed to get spring water. We only use spring water for drinking and cooking. Our city's water tastes like potting soil. I like gardening, but not enough to drink it. The second reason was that I knew I could keep my wallet, keys and phone in the top section. I usually only use the top section because I do not like impaling myself on the handlebar at the register trying to get everything out of the main section. And from the end of the cart, you can't reach the top section. They make these things just too big. I like those mini ones they have now, but again the spring water... So, once I put a few things in the top, my valuables would be covered and secure, right?

I grabbed the first few items; bread, milk, eggs. Now my wallet, phone and keys are covered up. I keep shopping, stepping away from the cart only a couple times to grab some stuff off the shelves or whatever. I check on my personal hidden items periodically.

Now, for those of you who think you know where this is going, you are wrong.

I get to the register, unload my stuff and see that my wallet, keys and phone are all secure in the top basket. I pay for my stuff and put my bags on top of them once again and proceed to the car. I had left the car unlocked. I do this on hot days; windows open and all. There is nothing in the car worth taking and neither is the car itself. As I am putting my stuff in the car, I note that my wallet, keys and phone are all in the top basket - they made it! - Not that I had any doubts.

I get in the car and drive off.

Hmmm.

I get about 1/4 mile from the store and look at the seat beside me. Did I put my wallet and phone under the bags?

They're not there. I am still driving. Maybe I put them on the floor with the spring water. Maybe I put them in the little pocket in the dashboard. Nope, not there. But there in the little pocket is my wife's phone! She apparently left it in the car when she got home from work, just before I darted out to the store. Oh no! My phone AND my wallet are in the cart!

I am one of those people who do not put the cart away. Sue me! I have a 6 year-old and when he was younger I got into that habit. He was just too valuable to have taken out of his car seat while I was doing something they pay people to do. I had heard of it happening and I was wise. Hee-hee. So the cart I had, is sitting alongside an empty parking space just waiting for the next shopper.

My quick prayer went something like this:

"Father, I'm sorry I was so dumb. Please let my stuff still be there when I get back."

I decided, as I was turning around, to use my wife's cell phone to call my phone, in case it was in the car somewhere. It rang, I could not hear it ringing in the car. Someone answers. OK, at this point I am trusting in the mercy of God to let this be one of the many honest people in the world.

"Perla?!", she says, seeing my wife's name pop up. "Do you know whose phone this is?!"

"Yes, it's mine." I replied, embarrassed.

"I am in the parking lot and I have your phone AND your wallet in a cart here!"

Thank you for pointing out my MULTIPLE losses, as if leaving one thing was not mortifying enough.

"I'll be right there."

I drive in and see these two ladies, looking around, standing by my cart - OK, their cart.

I stop the car and get out. I thank them. They point out how it was good that someone like them found it. We didn't know whether to take it inside or not, etc, etc. I show them my license to prove it's me. I thank them again. I point out that this is the last time I go shopping without pockets. I start walking back to my car.

One of them shouts out, "No pockets, no store!"

Good motto.

The next day, I spoke to a woman who was a prospective client for our cleaning business.

"Did you get your phone back?" she asks.

"Uh, yeah," I said, revisiting my mortification of the previous day.

"Yeah, some lady called me yesterday. I guess I was the last call you made before you went to the grocery store. She asked me if I knew whose phone it was. I said yes, but that the only other way I knew of to contact you was by email. As we were talking, she said, 'Someone named Perla is calling the phone'. Oh! that's his wife! Answer it! Answer it!"

That was me calling from my wife's phone.

We had a good laugh. I expressed my hope that this was not going to cast a shadow on us and our first impression.

Well, she is now a customer.
I have my phone and my wallet back.
All turned out well.
Trust in God in every thing.
And if any of you can learn from my mistakes, feel free - No pockets, no store!

And here's a scripture for you:

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.

Proverbs 30:5

Mass Transit - Part Three, That's my In-laws' House

View Larger Map

My in-laws' house is somewhere in here.

After generously and in a VERY norteamericano sort of way, paying my taxi driver. I walked across the street to wait for what was probably the 'last-chance-bus' to home. Shortly, after I crossed, my taxi driver friend follows with some of his compañeros. He says they want to be sure that I get on the right bus. I am sure at this point that they all figure they will be handsomely rewarded for their efforts.

As the bus pulls up, they all mutter something in Guaraní. I say thank you and get on the bus. The taxi driver follows. He says he wants to be sure that I get off at the right stop. He talks to the driver in Guaraní. I imagine my whole saga being re-told, probably missing some parts and fabricating others.

I proceed to the third seat on the right, because my in-laws' house, when it passes will be on the right. I sit with my head and shoulders OUT THE WINDOW. I do NOT want to miss the stop this time.

I recognize each turn.

I finally see the half tires on the neighbor's property line. This is IT!. I pull the cord as he turns the corner.

On the road I see the silouette of my father-in-law. He is standing in the road in front of his house waiting for me. It was very prodigal son-like.

I get off the bus. He comes over to me. He looks very concerned.

I realize that the taxi driver gets off with me.

"How are you getting back?", I ask.
"You're going to drive me", he replies.

I look at him, puzzled. He laughs.

"No I'll walk", he says.

We all laugh.

I did NOT think that was funny.

He and my father-in-law talk a bit as I go inside. I think they ended up knowing each other - a friend of a friend of a friend etc sort of thing. Or at least that's what they SAID!

As I go inside, I am pleased to see my oblivious children. I am sure that any talk of my troubling MIA-ness was all in guaraní in the home, so they never realized that daddy was missing in the paraguayan campo. I could sense that my in-laws were worried.

As we lay in bed that night, my wife grabbed me. "I was worried for you Papi", she said, "I was praying the whole time."

"Aah!, What were you worried about? If I can do NY city subways, I can do Paraguayan colectivos!"

I am such a norteamericano.

There is a sequel. It happened 3 days later. I'll save it for another post.

Children Part Two

OK. I knew that that one bible verse was gonna get to somebody. I never imagined so many. It's the truth of the Word of God. But just to help you out, here's some clarification.

This is the verse I quoted:

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Proverbs 23:13

This is the verse that follows it:

Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:14

Keeping my child from hell (if God put it that way, so can I) sounds important enough for me. Some don't use the word beat, they call it a whoopin', or a spanking. It's all the same truth of scripture. The word 'beat' has been, well, beaten. Here is the truth of the matter.

What we refer to is this meaning from Webster's:

1. To strike repeatedly; to lay on repeated blows, with a stick, with the hand or fist, or with any instrument, and for any cause, just or unjust, or for punishment. (emphasis mine)

We are NOT referring to this Webster's definition:

3. To break, bruise, comminute, or pulverize by beating or pounding, as pepper or spices.

Obviously, there is quite a difference.

In the original Hebrew text, its literal meaning is as follows:

נכה
nâkâh
naw-kaw'
A primitive root; to strike (lightly or severely, literally or figuratively): - beat

The Hebrew definitions go further, but as I should have mentioned in the previous post; I don't think everyone can handle them. I was actually reluctant to post the one scripture, but in the interest of the Truth of the Word of God, I did anyway. I am posting this follow-up to clarify the original. I won't do this all the time. I know this can be a sensitive subject, so I chose to address it in case there were others who were confused.

Children

I am not really sure how we got on the subject, but my teen daughter and I were discussing punishment and discipline. She had brought it up in our conversation. She mentioned that at a recent concert, she and some friends were discussing how they were disciplined and what kind they will dish out themselves to their own children. After recounting the humorous anecdotes of her friends' experiences, she goes on to list how they each decided to discipline their own.

She finishes with her plan..."I am just going to ground them."

OK, so when you stop laughing, realize this; in our home 'grounding' is staying in your room, not just not going out. Severe grounding means sitting on the edge of your bed with your hands folded; amount of time to be determined. It is still funny that she thinks this is all that will be necessary.

So I ask, "You're not going to spank your children?"

She replies, "Only if they deserve it, but I am going to start with grounding."

I say,"Two and three year-olds do not understand grounding, dear."

"Oh, well, I'll spank them."

Later in the day, as I recounted all of this to Mama, I thought of something else. I called daughter into the room.

"C", I said, "What will you do if your child does something wrong while grounded?"

"Well, they can't," she said, "They're grounded!"

"What happens when they are grounded and they write on the wall in their room while they're in there?"

ARE YOU SITTING DOWN DEAR READER?

She replies, "Oh, my kids won't be like that."

Mama and I laughed ourselves to sleep I think.

So, I have some scriptures for you here:

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Proverbs 23:13

Yes, the Bible says it.

And since we had such a good laugh today....

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Proverbs 17:22

Ohians, and Feifers and Mares, Oh My!

If you remember a childhood that included "The Wizard of Oz", then please rent this movie. It's good for a few belly laughs and a good message to boot!

"Husbands, Love Your Wives" = Give up Your Life for Them

This post is a response to this post.

Unfortunately, most men who boast the husband/submissive wife model are not worthy of being followed anyway.

First, this is a model for believing married couples, not the loser type that Mama referred to in her article. Second, it is a model of marriage that simply puts order into place. Third, while it is certainly no easy task to follow your husband 'no-matter-what', it is likewise not easy for him to be so in touch with Almighty God as to be completely certain that you and your family are following His will for your life.

Usually, however it is only the 'submissive wife' part that gets argued. The other part of that scripture states:

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:25

Oh my! The husband is to love his wife so much that it is like giving up his life for her? I know I have done things for my marriage that seemed as though I was giving up a part of myself. Don't we all? We should. I would do it all over again.

And what about the third part of these admonitions? Should we rebuke this too?

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Colossians 3:20

My wife is submitted to my authority in Christ. She is not oppressed, suppressed, silenced, enslaved or in any way demeaned because of it. She is a free woman because of our godly marriage. But there is order in our marriage.

I know when it comes down to it, our original poster, Mama, would follow Big Daddy's decisions even if sometimes she thought he was wrong because she trusts him and knows that he loves and wants only the best for her. Maybe she is one of those submitted women after all. :-O

An Answer for Bad Parenting

This entry is in response to a blog entry by "Mamaneeds2rant" on her blog. Her original entry is found here.

First let me say that 'Mama...' is a very special woman for many reasons. She holds a very dear place in the hearts of my wife and children and I. We are thankful for the part she plays in the life of 'Big Daddy'.

There are some things she said in this blog entry that I wanted to respond to and did not feel that the 'comments' section was the place to do it.

Let me attempt to offer another view on some of Mama's rants:

Mama's view:
"...On a human level, I can’t even understand how anything can take precedence over one’s children. It is embedded in our nature to want to care and protect our young. People that lack this are very sick individuals..."

My view:
It is not necessarily embedded in everyone's nature to do this. Certain factors that may come into play are a person's own parent's abilities or lack thereof as well as traumatic experiences during childhood. To call someone sick because of this may be accurate from a mental standpoint, but it seemed harsh to me.

Genesis 1:11
And God said, Let the earth put forth [tender] vegetation: plants yielding seed and fruit trees yielding fruit whose seed is in itself, each according to its kind, upon the earth. And it was so.

Just as every tree bears fruit of the same kind, so it is with our actions. This is a foundational principle found in the Word of God.

Luke 6:43 -44
For there is no good (healthy) tree that bears decayed (worthless, stale) fruit, nor on the other hand does a decayed (worthless, sickly) tree bear good fruit. For each tree is known and identified by its own fruit; for figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor is a cluster of grapes picked from a bramblebush.

Good parents beget good parents. Bad parents produce bad parents.

Mama's view:
"...They don’t want to discipline their kids because they’re afraid their children won’t “like” them..."

My view:
My experience in ministry and my own household has revealed that these parents probably had parents that were too disciplinary, even maybe abusive.

Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

An overly disciplinary parent may cause a person to rebel. That rebellion may take the form of 'anti-discipline' in their own home.

Mama's view:
"On the other end of the bad parenting spectrum, there is the actual child abuser. These people are truly sick individuals who should be behind bars in most cases. Evil has taken hold of their entire being until they are not even human anymore."

My view:
'Not even human'? Wow, that's harsh. They ARE human. Christ died for them just the same. They in fact are worth as much to him as you or I.

2 Peter 3:9
The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people's conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance. (emphasis mine)

Most individuals that fall into this category were abused themselves. In most evangelical circles, it's referred to as a generational curse. That cycle MUST be changed in order for these people to ever have a successful life as a parent.

Exodus 34:6 - 7
And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord! the Lord! a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving-kindness and truth, keeping mercy and loving-kindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but Who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children's children, to the third and fourth generation.

Even those who crucified Christ understood this concept:

Matthew 27:25
Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.

Generational cursing and blessing are also biblical principles. Many temptations and struggles against evil that we face in our own lives are results of the sins of our ancestors. These curses can and should be broken so that we do not have to deal with them and more importantly, our children will not. The breaking of this cycle is available through the shed blood of Jesus and this is testified to in this post.

Ephesians 1:7
In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

Mama's view:
"...The enabling parent has no soul..."

My view:
Aw, come on! That's not even possible! That must have been just a description of the person and not a statement of reality, right?

Genesis 2:7
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Thanks for giving me something to blog about today, Mama.

You are loved out here in Easton!